coming home to my feminine
And finding worthiness beyond achievement
I’ve spent most of my life living primarily in the masculine as my dominant energy.
If you met me recently, you might find that hard to believe. But those who have known me for years will tell you it’s true. I’ve long been described as “driven,” “goal-oriented,” and “hardworking.” I thrived on structure, ambition, and doing. My identity was built around achieving.
Sometimes I wonder if it all started back in my tomboy days. I wasn’t a “girly girl”. Far from it. Picture basketball shorts, a slicked-back ponytail, and sneakers 24/7. I was often the only girl on all-boys sports teams and would voluntarily practice with my older brother’s soccer team just to toughen up.
Things began to shift around 5th or 6th grade, when I discovered I liked boys. Outwardly, I started to embrace a more feminine look, but inside, I was all grit and fire, still carrying that same masculine drive.
And to be fair, it served me well. I excelled in school. Landed great jobs. Ran marathons. Tackled big, audacious goals. In many ways, I didn’t know who I was without a target to aim at and a plan to get there.
But this year, something shifted.
In the first half of this year, I’ve been intentionally cultivating my feminine energy. At first, it was just an antidote to burnout and a gentle curiosity about what it might feel like to soften. But as I leaned in, I discovered something powerful: it felt natural. Like slipping into something I’d forgotten was mine. It wasn’t just good, it was familiar. It felt like home.
Living in my feminine has made me feel alive in ways I haven’t felt in years.
But fully embracing it has not been an easy journey. It’s a paradox: the feminine feels like home in my soul, yet stepping into it in daily life is unfamiliar and often difficult.
Reclaiming softness, allowing emotions to move through me, and letting life touch me again has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I was so used to pushing feelings aside and labeling them as distractions or unproductive that inviting them back in felt uncomfortable. Vulnerable. Raw. It was scary for me to feel “sensitive”.
As I’m growing to embrace my femininity, my greatest challenge remains the ongoing resistance to simply being—in all areas of life. That old voice still whispers: “Do more. Chase harder. Earn your place in the world.”
But I’m learning something new: I don’t have to earn my worth. I don’t have to constantly prove my value. I am allowed to rest. I am allowed to receive. I am worthy simply by existing.
Bit by bit, I’m embracing being seen not for what I can do, but for who I am in stillness.
Despite the moments of discomfort, this journey has been incredibly beautiful. I’ve watched myself melt into ease, surrender control, and move from a place of intuition. I’ve touched euphoric moments of alignment, feeling profoundly connected to the Universe and my own essence. And I’ve found connection that holds this new way of being with tenderness and grace.
After years of pushing, proving, and being the strong one, embodying the feminine feels like a deep exhale—one I didn’t know I was holding.
I’m on a mission to reclaim what has always been mine: my natural state of radiance, receptivity, and inner wisdom.
Here’s how I’m moving through this:
Practicing softness, intuition, and sensual presence in daily life
Dressing and moving in ways that make me feel magnetic and relaxed
Spending time in nature, art, beauty, and flow
Embodiment check-ins: How do I feel in my body right now?
Slow movement: long walks, dance, yoga. Movement without pressure
Seeing beauty as medicine and filling my life with as much of it as possible
Reconnecting with pleasure and presence
Daily meditation and solitude
Following sparks—if it excites me for no reason, I say yes
Letting go of the need to perform
Asking myself: What am I moving toward? And is it truly mine?
I am excited to see how far this journey into the feminine can take me. It’s unfamiliar, but it’s also liberating. And even though I don’t always know where it’s leading, I feel more like my true self every day.
If you’re on the edge of your own shift, if softening feels unfamiliar or even terrifying, I want you to know this:
You are not broken for feeling tired of performing.
You are not weak for craving gentleness.
You are not wrong for longing to just exist, fully and freely.
The feminine is not something we become.
It is something we return to.
And every time you let go, soften, or slow down, you are already on your way home.
walk boldly,
Caroline