Since leaving my job two weeks ago, I’ve been treating myself to moments of bliss, savoring this newfound freedom like a long-awaited exhale. Each morning, I wake up and ask myself, “Caroline, what would you like to do today?” And whatever bubbles up in my heart, I try to honor it.
Sometimes, it’s the little things: long, slow morning walks, indulging in my favorite matcha latte, or rolling around my living room in my brand-new pair of roller skates with music blasting. Other times, it’s bigger joys— spontaneous day trips up the coast, a few hours at a dreamy wellness center, splurging on a new pair of shoes (it’s an addiction, someone stop me), or getting lost in a good book for an entire guilt-free afternoon.
It’s been healing. I feel lighter, more centered, joyful, and completely in love with life. And the beautiful thing about loving life? When you do, it tends to love you right back. Some moments, I catch myself smiling for no reason and I just think, “wow, I’m really living it.” It might sound cliche, but I feel like the luckiest person alive.
The last time I remember feeling this free was when I studied abroad in London. I fell in love with that city and with the version of myself I became while walking its streets. It feels poetic that London will be my first stop when I head out on my travels in June. I can already picture it: frolicking through Hyde Park, getting lost in the pastel corners of Notting Hill, ducking into cozy bookstores, wandering the British Library endlessly, and letting the city sweep me up all over again.
Until then, I’ll be giving myself permission to enjoy more bliss, more slow magic, and more spontaneous “yeses.” I don’t know what’s coming next, but if it feels anything like this — light, whole, and wildly alive — I’m ready.
On bliss
Originally published 3/27/17
Each morning when I wake up I inhale deeply, stretch my arms above my head, and make my first act of cognition something positive. I express gratitude for something I am thankful for and think of one good thing that could happen over the course of the day. When I opened my eyes this morning, the sunshine eagerly peaked through the blinds to tell me that today was going to be exquisite, so I gave thanks for the opportunity to be surrounded by so much beauty and the ability to appreciate it. I determined I would be satisfied with the day if I could spend time enjoying my surroundings.
It seemed a grave injustice that I had to sit in a tiny, cramped classroom during the peak of the afternoon while the birds taunted me mercilessly through the window, basking in the glorious sun. “Ha! The day’s not over yet,” I wanted to tell them as I hurried out of the building once the professor dismissed us. Hi ho hi ho off to Hyde Park I go.
This park has become my favorite place in the world. I love laying amongst the endless freshly-mowed green fields and sprouting yellow daffodils that seem to be amassing an army (world domination??) while I curiously watch the people around me. As I nestled into my carefully-chosen spot on the lawn, the grass danced in front of me as the wind tickled my bare back through the slit in my shirt while I took a moment to simply be present. It reminded me of a beloved Buddhist saying, “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”
There is something surprisingly intimate about sharing a place like this with so many strangers, because you know that your experience would not be the same without their presence. The children playing and laughing, people napping peacefully or exchanging animated stories with friends, and dogs running wildly as if seeing grass for the first time all contribute to the blissfulness of the moment. There is an unspoken agreement that everyone here is welcome, despite whatever background they come from, because everyone shares the same unifying purpose of enjoying a beautiful day in a beautiful place.
