from the vault: on dreaming

A love letter to dreamers and the skies above

Continuing my “from the vault” series where I share my past writing that was only published to a small audience (mostly family members), I’m bringing back a piece that still speaks to who I am today.

As much as life has tried to rationalize me and push me towards practicality, I can’t help but be a dreamer. I love imagining big, seemingly impossible plans—making bold proclamations and sometimes even surprising myself when I manage to bring them to life. For me, dreaming has always felt like both a compass and a calling.

I truly believe the world needs more dreamers. More lovers, more healers, more storytellers. More people brave enough to chase what lights them up.

I know I’m here for a reason. And every day I pursue joy, pursue myself, and pursue the vision I hold in my heart, I feel one step closer to uncovering that purpose. Right now, I feel quite close.

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On dreaming

Originally published 6/4/17

As a child, I remember playing out on the grass fields at recess, kicking a ball around, doing cartwheels, and catching ladybugs (not all at the same time of course). Whenever I’d hear the roar and jet whine of an airplane overhead, I’d stop whatever I was doing to tilt my head up towards the sky and watch it go by. In an epitomic gesture of childlike naiveté, I would wave up to the clouds, believing that the people on board the Boeing 747 were looking down at me, this tiny little ant-person, and were waving back and smiling. “Goodbye Caroline, I’m off to Hawaii!” they would say.

Even now that I know it is quite impossible for anyone to see me, I still find myself wanting to wave. I believe this is because, at heart, I am a dreamer. I want to believe in things no one else thinks are possible. I am constantly thinking about the future: the things I want to do, places I want to go, and goals I hope to achieve. When an idea begins to form in my head, I get excited, often skimming over many important details that usually turn out to be obstacles to my plan or facts that make my fantasy highly impractical. To me, nothing hurts more than having someone or something burst my hope-filled bubble. It is as though whatever instrument (a word, a doubt, a look) used to shatter the bubble goes straight through it to simultaneously pierce my heart. Typically, I do not even see it coming— no warning or shout of “en garde!”

I believe it is vitally important to let dreamers dream. I am lucky that many of the important people in my life fully support and entertain my starry-eyed goals. These people realize that it is part of my essential nature to think big and concoct elaborate plans for myself. I find it all the more serendipitously delightful when they jump on board my dream ship to become a part of my grand scheme. I cherish these people.

I realize that sometimes it is necessary to be practical and rational, but I think all too often people constrain themselves inside a box of realistic perception. Why limit yourself? Why make your world smaller? It baffles me. I’d rather dream. Believe in things that may not be real. Be impulsive, impractical, naive, and maybe even a little absurd. The world as I see it is massive and filled with potential for fulfillment of great desire.

walk boldly,

Caroline